As a child, you might recall reading the Dr. Seuss story called “The Zax” in which two Zax found themselves coming from opposite directions only to come face to face; neither of them were willing to budge or to change. As one Zax stated “For I live by a rule that I learned as a boy in South-Going School, Never Budge! …Never budge in the least! Not an inch to the west! Not an inch to the east!” So, as they continued to argue, each determined to WIN at all costs, they stood their ground with feelings of pride and self-righteousness. For if I am RIGHT, you must be WRONG. And, here is where we get stuck. In the case of the Zax, they stayed put for 59 years while the world grew around them.
As a business leader, do you ever find yourself being a Zax with others be it customers, partners, employees or other team mates? Do you live by those rules that keep you rigid and inflexible to change? Well, if you do, you might just find yourself being left behind, stuck in your rightness paying a high price. You might even WIN your position but at what cost? Often, the cost of being inflexible and unwilling to look from the other’s perspective undermines your credibility as an authentic leader, damages relationships, and changes people’s perceptions of you.
The next time you find yourself being a Zax, then take a step back, and think about the cost. Ask yourself:
- “What do I lose for being right?”
- “What could we both gain if we honored each other’s view point?”
- “How could we both get what we need?”
In the case of the Zax, they simply could have worked together in a creative way to move past each other without compromising their values. They could have put arm into arm, and twirled each other around so they could continue down their paths. Of course, not all situations can be resolved easily; yet sometimes, it just takes a simple act of stepping back.
You might lose sight if you fight to be right.
© 2009 Patricia M. Porter, The Texas Conflict Coach™
http://www.conflictconnections.com
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Agreed. Leaders must be able to lead collaboratively to facilitate employee engagement, retention and company development and growth. Leading dictatorially and going it alone could lead you right out of a job and kill your company.
Great lesson for our (leaders?) in Washington, too. The UN is learning the story of Zax. They invited BSG there to learn reconciliation.
We must all come to the table with “tamed” hearts.
This is a great leadership lesson. It can also be applied to the team environment. So many times, innovation, cost savings and process improvements are derailed because of this type of behavior. No matter what the work environment, we all need to make sure we’re more flexible and open-minded.
Thank you Anita, Lori and Kevin for taking the time to read the new blog entry and make comments. This story of the Zax has certainly rang a bell for folks, and not just in leadership. So, what would happen if you broke that long standing rule you learned? Sometimes, it is not a rule at all but a value we hold dearly. All the huffing and puffing one might do when a rule is broken might be something more meaningful if we stop long enough to ask.
Brings to mind one of my favorite sayings “Do you want to be ‘right’? or Do you want to be happy?” Most of us are looking for things like productivity and job satisfaction … so fixating on “right” often times excludes being “happy” ….
But what if I really really want to be right? *laugh*
It is an important lesson and one I use every day, not only in business (of course) but my kids. Sometimes you truly do have to pick your battles!
Hi! Jill and Candy,
How right on target you both are…just had a conversation where being right was so important to this person, s/he has placed so much negative energy into the situation that she is very unhappy. The problem becomes one of letting go of when we feel like we have been wronged, and responding in such a way that it is destructive to one’s health and relationships. To Candy’s question, what if you really, really want to be right? Things to consider, can you still be right without the other person’s acknowledgment? Does the other person’s lack of acknowledgment stand in your way of moving forward? Is it possible that the situation is not as black and white as we make it to be, and that there really is degrees of “rightness?” Hmmmm.