This is one of my favorite scenes from the movie “Ocean’s Eleven.” This is where Rusty (played by Brad Pitt) is instructing the newbie Linus (Matt Damon) how to con the casino owner.
Ever felt that way?
Just like Rusty, well-meaning people in your life will tell you what you need to do to be successful. “Do this.” “Do that.” “Don’t do this.” “Never do that.” Let me help you cut through the muck with one simple piece of advice: be yourself.
Yep. It’s that simple. Be yourself. Customers will do business with you because they know you, like you and trust you. If you are trying to squeeze yourself into a cookie cutter mold of what others want you to be, you will fail. When you are true to who you are, to your beliefs, your values, your passions, your personality, you will differentiate yourself from the competition and have a unique value proposition others will not have.
What would happen if we focused on becoming the best we can be rather than focusing on what others want us to be?
The Risks of Being Yourself in Business
There are risks to being yourself in business. But let’s face these risks head on.
1. Your weaknesses may show.
Uh-oh. That’s a tough one. As a recovering perfectionist, I understand. But here’s the reality: We don’t know everything. People are going to disagree with us and we will be stronger for their contrary point of view. We will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we have failed. We are stronger for our mistakes too.
2. People may criticize you.
Do you really think people don’t criticize you already? Hmm…
3. People may not like you.
Most of us have been raised to believe that if we are not liked, we are failing. Try turning this paradigm on its head. When I’m doing business it really doesn’t bother me if someone doesn’t like me. In fact, I love it when they don’t. The truth is that if I’m fully myself in business and someone doesn’t like me they probably won’t do business with me. And chances are that I would not want to do business with them either. So in the long run, that non-customer who doesn’t like me has saved me a lot of frustration and heartache by deselecting themselves as a client.
You will be the most successful when your align your talents with you who are.
Today, will you shake off the expectations that others have for who you should be and concentrate on being the best “you” you can be?
A client of mine, “Raquel”, is in mid-high end home product sales. She was recently told by her boss that she needed to change in order to increase her sales. When my client asked for specific examples, she discovered that the boss wants her to change her personality. “Stop being so friendly. People don’t like it when you’re bubbly.” Hmm…
A few months back, when I was getting ready to have my head shots taken, I actually had a consultant tell me that I should straighten my curly hair because women with straight hair are viewed as more serious and intelligent than those with curls. Seriously. Although that statement may be true, (link) am I really going to create a business strategy around my curly hair? Heck no!
Does this sound crazy to you? Good! Because it is! And guess what, you may not have curly hair, but I’m willing to bet that at some point, someone told you that you needed to change some part of who you are to be good in business.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t continuously strive to improve and be better; of course we should! But this is different. When did we first hear the message that if we want business success, we have to conform? Business owners, at what point did we give in and say, “You’re right. I shouldn’t be myself if I want to be accepted in the business community?”
Is it possible to be a successful business owner and be yourself? Of course! Is it risky? Absolutely!
The Risks
1. People may not like you.
So what? When I’m doing business it really doesn’t bother me if someone doesn’t like me. In fact, I love it when they don’t. What?! The truth is that if I’m fully myself in business and someone doesn’t like me they probably won’t do business with me. And chances are that I would not want to do business with them either. So in the long run, that non-customer has saved me a lot of frustration and heartache by deselecting themselves as a client.
2. People may criticize you.
Do you really think people don’t criticize you already?
3. Your weaknesses may show.
Uh-oh. That’s a tough one. As a recovering perfectionist, I understand. But here’s the reality: We don’t know everything. People are going to disagree with us and we will be stronger for their contrary point of view. We will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we have failed. We are stronger for our mistakes too.
My point is this. Be yourself! Delete the voices that say you have to change the core of who you are or even how you look to be successful. Be who you are.
The Benefits of Being Yourself
1 – People do business with those they like, know and trust.
2 – Your personal life and values will sync up with your business.
3 – People want to do business with others who are authentic.
4 – It takes courage to be yourself; people admire and gravitate towards the strength and courage in others.
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I couldn’t agree more – I’ve see a lot of peers and associates fall into that “corporate drone” clique of dry and replicable mannerisms/speech that honestly make people feel uncomfortable. I , along with my staff at Quarterlife Magazine, are learning that by being ourselves and speaking as true as possible to who we are and what we represent, people are more likely to listen and take action on what we discuss. This is an interestingly simple and gravitational phenomena that most tend to overlook as trivial.
Thank you for your comment Paul. And I’m so glad to hear that you are working to build a culture at your company where people are free to be themselves. Congratulations!
People buy from people! It is so important to be yourself.