I have a friend who faithfully watches the hit tv show The Office and reports the shenanigans of the unruly, stupendously inappropriate, sexist, megalomaniacal boss Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell). In case you haven’t seen the office, here is a quick snapshot of the brilliance Michael Scott brings to his company.
When I watched the office for the first time, I was shocked and in Human Resources horror. When I realized how widely popular this show is, I had to question why. Why would a show that features a crazy boss who says stupid things to his employees be so celebrated? I thought about it and realized that most of the bizarre, asinine, racist and neanderthal comments I’ve heard came from my bosses over the years. I’m guessing the reason The Office is such a hit is because most of us, at one time or another, had Michael Scott as a boss.
So let’s have some fun. I’ll start off with some of the crazy things my bosses have said and you can add yours.
Stupid Things My Bosses Said
Me: It’s my one year anniversary today!
My Boss: Great. (Sigh) Now that means you’re eligible for FMLA.
My Boss: We want your help filling some positions for us. But we don’t want you to give us any African Americans candidates.
Temp Company: Excuse me?
My Boss: The CEO doesn’t like Black people so don’t send us any of those. Brown people are fine though.
Temp Company: Um, brown people?
My Boss: Yes. You know, Mexicans.
Temp Company: …
My Boss: The best advice I can give you about office politics is to go to lots of business dinners and drink less than everyone else. You will learn all kinds of things you can use against them later.
My Boss: We should fire her.
Me: Why?
My Boss: She’s been in the hospital for four days. How can she get any work done when she’s in the hospital?
Now it’s your turn. What stupid things have your bosses said? (And yes, you can post anonymously)
{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
Most recently:
Me: I’m going home. Not feeling well.
Boss: Well, if its just your time of the month, can’t you take a midol or something and get back to work?
Me: Its the flu.
Boss: You don’t look sick, I think you need midol.
Me: Really? See you tomorrow.
That is so sad! But I’m still laughing at his (I’m assuming) stupidity!
Me: Please let me read over your notices to the staff before you post them so I can help you catch glaring errors. It hurts your credibility when there are a lot of typos.
Boss: I don’t need credibility, I can fire people.
Me: Wow. XXX____ in the shop is out of work today sick. That breaks a 10 year perfect attendance streak. I hope he is ok. (amputation of two toes, diabetes condition)
Boss: I want that son of a bitch fired!
me: Blink blink….ummmm
me: what? You can’t do that.
Boss: are you being insubordinate? I’ll fire your ass too!
me: No, not insubordinate. Sane. I am trying to keep your ass out of trouble, actually.
Boss: maybe you should just go punch out and go home if you don;t want to do what I say!!!
Me: I am not punching out. I am calling corporate to get their approval on your temination request. That is policy.
Boss: I am ordering you not to follow that policy.
Me: Can we discuss this in private rather than in front of entire staff?
Boss: blink blink… no, i want witnesses.
Me: ok..i am going to back to my office. Corporate will be pissed when i fire this guy without approval.
Boss: how will they know?
Me: I have to tell them and send paperwork and cobra and and and
Boss: Sit down. Just forget the whole thing if it is that complicated
me: ……..
I got him fired a week later
Dawn – that is awesome!
Mike – Holy cow! I’ve had some managers like that too. Good for you!
Situation. State of Emergency for blizzard conditions. City Mayor informed the press that all non essential personnel need not to report to work.” Stay at home or work at home, stay off the roads and let the plow trucks work”.
Received message from boss. ” all employee must report to work today”. 1 hr and half delay on start time.
me: arrived at work 45 mins past the start due to road conditions.
Boss: Your lateness is unacceptable!