Comments on: Choices And Lessons http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/ Executive Development, Business, Coaching and Social Media Fun Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:24:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Marguerite Granat http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-542 Marguerite Granat Mon, 21 Dec 2009 02:09:45 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-542 Alicia, thanks for making us aware of what happened with this situation. You did the right thing not to react and rather to respond to her actions. I believe that when a person takes verbatim everything you have written in a post, they will not be able to really carry it through because it was not something that they truly own. Nobody can really take anything away from you what truly belongs to you. Even when a person steals your things from your house, (this has happened to me personally) they will have to deal with their actions eventually. Even if the person has no conscience or remorse, I believe that there are consequences to taking something that does not belong to you. I'm looking forward to your future insights. Marguerite @MGRecruiter Alicia, thanks for making us aware of what happened with this situation. You did the right thing not to react and rather to respond to her actions. I believe that when a person takes verbatim everything you have written in a post, they will not be able to really carry it through because it was not something that they truly own. Nobody can really take anything away from you what truly belongs to you. Even when a person steals your things from your house, (this has happened to me personally) they will have to deal with their actions eventually. Even if the person has no conscience or remorse, I believe that there are consequences to taking something that does not belong to you. I’m looking forward to your future insights.
Marguerite @MGRecruiter

]]> By: Kevin W. Grossman http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-537 Kevin W. Grossman Fri, 18 Dec 2009 00:41:11 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-537 My mother has told me over the years to never put things in writing that you would regret later, that even if you're right, and even if you're defending yourself when you've been wronged. And even when you're just being direct without bouncing. Being direct (without emotion and especially with) is a tough pill for many people to swallow. Leaders can't do it with management. Managers can't do it with employees. Spouses can't do it with one another. Parents can't do it with children. I like being direct. Mom and I don't really agree on this point. I don't regret much these days and haven't for over a decade. Reason why? Because I own everything I throw out there and am responsible for the consequences. I lived the squeamish alternative for too many years. Regardless of the context, Tanya should've known better and been more responsible. I would've done the same thing you did and called her out in the forum where she plagiarized you - online in your blog. My choice is to be direct without being hurtful. The lesson is that it makes for greater focal strength and mindful presence and you cut out the middleman. The circumventing bullsh%t. Ironically, that's actually one thing my mother did tell me over the years: you have to go through it, not around it. My mother has told me over the years to never put things in writing that you would regret later, that even if you’re right, and even if you’re defending yourself when you’ve been wronged.

And even when you’re just being direct without bouncing. Being direct (without emotion and especially with) is a tough pill for many people to swallow. Leaders can’t do it with management. Managers can’t do it with employees. Spouses can’t do it with one another. Parents can’t do it with children.

I like being direct. Mom and I don’t really agree on this point.

I don’t regret much these days and haven’t for over a decade. Reason why? Because I own everything I throw out there and am responsible for the consequences. I lived the squeamish alternative for too many years.

Regardless of the context, Tanya should’ve known better and been more responsible. I would’ve done the same thing you did and called her out in the forum where she plagiarized you – online in your blog.

My choice is to be direct without being hurtful. The lesson is that it makes for greater focal strength and mindful presence and you cut out the middleman.

The circumventing bullsh%t.

Ironically, that’s actually one thing my mother did tell me over the years: you have to go through it, not around it.

]]> By: Pattie Porter http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-535 Pattie Porter Thu, 17 Dec 2009 18:02:45 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-535 Alicia, thanks for sharing your dilemma and how you chose to deal with it...very upfront and honest. So often, we are emotionally charged in conflict and choose to respond from this place of high emotion, and this only leads us down a destructive path. Your choice to "tackle the issue" not attack the person is a very constructive and competent way of dealing with conflict. Kudos to you! Alicia, thanks for sharing your dilemma and how you chose to deal with it…very upfront and honest. So often, we are emotionally charged in conflict and choose to respond from this place of high emotion, and this only leads us down a destructive path. Your choice to “tackle the issue” not attack the person is a very constructive and competent way of dealing with conflict. Kudos to you!

]]> By: Jessica Miller-Merrell http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-528 Jessica Miller-Merrell Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:57:42 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-528 Kudos to you Alicia! What you have done is so hard and shows what kind of courageous and (for)giving person you are. This very thing happened to Chris Brogan earlier this week. Unfortunately, this will not be the last time we will hear of a situation like this. Social Media has brought the HR and Recruiting community closer together and also exposed certain people for what they are. Keep fighting the good fight! We are proud of you and respect your professional decisions. Jessica Miller-Merrell @blogging4jobs Kudos to you Alicia! What you have done is so hard and shows what kind of courageous and (for)giving person you are. This very thing happened to Chris Brogan earlier this week. Unfortunately, this will not be the last time we will hear of a situation like this. Social Media has brought the HR and Recruiting community closer together and also exposed certain people for what they are.

Keep fighting the good fight! We are proud of you and respect your professional decisions.

Jessica Miller-Merrell
@blogging4jobs

]]> By: Joe Lavelle http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-527 Joe Lavelle Wed, 16 Dec 2009 20:31:38 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-527 Hi Alicia - I am excited that you both took the high road and that you exposed your angst. It took major courage to share your feelings both the before and after and I really respect you for it. I feel like I know you better and will tune you in more often as a result. Keep on ... Acting As If It Were Impossible to Fail! - Joe Hi Alicia – I am excited that you both took the high road and that you exposed your angst. It took major courage to share your feelings both the before and after and I really respect you for it. I feel like I know you better and will tune you in more often as a result.

Keep on … Acting As If It Were Impossible to Fail! – Joe

]]> By: Fran Holm Hogan http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-525 Fran Holm Hogan Wed, 16 Dec 2009 16:44:12 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-525 Alicia, Well done! Professionalism & class. It would be hard to imagine that your work doesn't reflect the same qualities. Alicia,
Well done!
Professionalism & class. It would be hard to imagine that your work doesn’t reflect the same qualities.

]]> By: Krista Francis http://www.sanerapdc.com/2009/12/choices-and-lessons/comment-page-1/#comment-524 Krista Francis Wed, 16 Dec 2009 13:45:31 +0000 http://www.sanerapdc.com/?p=1919#comment-524 Alicia, Sorry for the rough time. I'm very glad you and "Tanya" found some level of resolution and closure. As for the lessons...I was just thinking yesterday that I wish I could blog about what I REALLY want to, the juicy details of every day life of the job and how they relate to broader themes. But working in HR, I can't. For the most part, those stories are not mine to tell. I can only refer to them much later, with details heavily disguised. Which is a shame cuz I sure do have some good tales to tell! Anyway, I am glad you took the high road and lived out those tag words highlighted on the left side of the screen! : ) Alicia, Sorry for the rough time. I’m very glad you and “Tanya” found some level of resolution and closure.

As for the lessons…I was just thinking yesterday that I wish I could blog about what I REALLY want to, the juicy details of every day life of the job and how they relate to broader themes. But working in HR, I can’t. For the most part, those stories are not mine to tell. I can only refer to them much later, with details heavily disguised. Which is a shame cuz I sure do have some good tales to tell!

Anyway, I am glad you took the high road and lived out those tag words highlighted on the left side of the screen! : )

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