Have you ever faced rejection? Perhaps your cold calling hit a dead end or your proposals have been rejected?

Some people told me I shouldn’t write this post. Their concern was that I might look bad or I might discredit myself by telling this story. But the truth is that we all face rejection. And the more we talk about it, the more help and understanding everyone gains (which is the purpose of this blog).  So the spirit of learning from other peoples’ experience, here is the story I wrote several weeks ago:

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Life is funny. My last two posts were about building relationships (here and here). And then today happened.

I was at a networking event two weeks ago and met a super-smart woman who moved to San Antonio from out of state. She opened up a brand new business three months ago. After the meeting she expressed an interest in my services. We had a short conversation and I followed up with an email. Normally, I would follow up my email with a phone call. But because I was impressed with her and excited about her new business, I took my own advice and decided to be extraordinary.  So I marched myself to the store, bought a card, a gift bag with tissue paper and put a small gift inside it. In the card, I wrote a note congratulating her on her new business and wished her the best.

I dropped by unannounced and she wasn’t at the office. Her assistant told me she would be back in an hour and I told him that I would run some errands and come back.

An hour later, I happily walked into her office with the beautiful gift bag in my hand. Seeing her, I smiled, said hello and shook her hand. I said, “I brought a little something for you,” and handed her the gift.

She looked at the bag like I was handing her a bucket of swine flu. She blurted out, “I’m not going to use your service so you don’t need to give me anything!”

Me: Excuse me?

Her: I don’t plan to use your services right now, so you don’t have to give me a gift.

Me: That’s not why I’m giving you the gift. I bought this for you because I wanted to congratulate you on your new business. If the time isn’t right for you to use my services, that’s okay.

Her: Silence.

I shoved the gift in her hand and for whatever reason, she started to make small talk.

I wish I could tell you that I shook it off, but unfortunately, it got to me – a lot. I drove 40 miles (one way) to see her. I spent $25+ on the gift bag, tissue paper, gift and card. I wanted her to feel special; yet in that moment, she was rude and uncaring and I was deeply hurt by her response. She took my gesture of kindness and pooed all over it. It was a slap in the face.

I began to doubt myself and wondered, “What did I do wrong?” “What did I do to deserve that response?” “Was it something I said?”

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Fast forward to today. Time brings the benefit of a clearer perspective. The questions that I ask myself now are, “Did her assistant tell her a salesperson came by?” “What kind of awful experiences has she had that would cause her to react in that way?” “Was I the recipient of her frustration with things that had nothing to do with me?” I don’t know the answers. But I do know this:

What I’ve Learned From Rejection

1. Giving extraordinary service can sometimes result in extraordinarily negative reactions. Let’s face the facts. Not everyone is ready for innovative, creative and different. It freaks some people out.

2. A past failure is just that – in the past. We don’t have the luxury of wallowing in the aftermath of bad experiences. Just because one person doesn’t care for our brand or approach, doesn’t mean other people will reject us too. Figure out how or what to improve. Then resolve to move on and stay the course.

Do you have any rejection stories? What rejection advice do you have for small business owners?

Photo courtesy of gogoloopie.