As most of you know, there was a bit of drama yesterday regarding one of my blog posts.

To those of you who reached out to me via blog comments, on Twitter and in direct messages I thank you! As I write this, I’m  feeling deeply appreciative of my friends and colleagues. And so, I’d like to give you an update.

Choices

The person to whom I referred in my post (let’s call her “Tanya” for convenience sake) contacted me and asked if we could talk. I must admit I was hesitant at first, but I agreed. I found her to be warm, intelligent, strong and sincere. Even so, we had a frank conversation about what happened. Tanya was disappointed that I had not reached out to her prior to my post. I explained that my intention was to vent, and obtain your (my readers’) insight and opinions.

We each had a choice in how to handle this situation. Either one of us could have escalated things at any point. I could have given you Tanya’s name, Twitter ID and website. I didn’t. She could have asked her thousands of followers to come to my blog and post nasty comments. She didn’t. We both could have formally involved attorneys; and although it came up, neither of us did. In fact, I give her kudos for even contacting me to talk – that took courage. (BTW, she did update her site with an acknowledgment before she called me.)

We had more choices. She could have chosen to believe that my intention was to slander and malign her. I could have chosen not to believe her when she explained how long she had been working on her post and that she did not pilfer from mine.

But I made a difference choice (as did she). As silly as it might sound, during our conversation last night, I choose to believe that she had no ill intent. In fact, during our call, we both expressed regret. She apologized to me and I apologized to her. Crazy? Maybe. But I felt it was the right thing to do. As we ended our call 45 minutes later, I don’t think either of us felt warm-fuzzies. But we did end our call wishing each other the best.

Lessons

Would I post another blog about something that upset me deeply? Probably. Would I give the person who offends me an opportunity to respond before I post anything, even if I don’t release a name? Probably.

Should you? Should you allow the emotion within you to make it’s way to the pages of your blog? Honestly, I’m a bit conflicted. I think one of the privileges of having a blog is that it is yours to do with as you want; you and I are blessed with the freedom to say whatever we’d like. At the same time, every word we write and everything we say has a consequence. And perhaps if two different people had been involved, this situation would have ended differently with more stress, credibility tainted and money lost.

So my dear readers, may I ask you again – what do you think?

Photo Courtesy of Laffy4k

Update 12-16-09

I had a conversation with this person. Here is the link to the update.

So this is a blog post unlike any other I’ve written so far because something happened to me that has never happened before. And I’m angry, really angry.

I was hardly online yesterday, so I was up early this morning catching up on Twitter posts. Someone who follows me had an interesting title to her new blog post “10 Things To Do Before 2010.” Interesting. It sounded a bit like my recent blog post “The Cure For a Business Hangover” which has about 20 things small business owners can work on during the Holiday business lull. I was curious to see what this small business coach had to say.

The more I read, the angrier I became. Eight of her 10 things to do were items I had written. She changed the words a bit, but that’s all. I was looking for some kind of acknowledgment like a link back to my article or even a mention like “Thank you Alicia Arenas for inspiring this post” or something. But nothing. She took full credit for her post.

My first reaction was to respond to her tweet and sarcastically tell her I was glad I could inspire her post. Then I thought about telling the Twitterverse what a scheming hooligan she is. Then I thought I’d take the high road and send her a Direct Message through Twitter. I re-read her post and thought that maybe I should  say something in the comments of her blog. But I didn’t do any of those things. I took a deep breathe and decided to tell you about it here.

Why am I so upset? I put a lot of time and attention into my blog posts. My goal is to bring you, the small business owner, the most helpful content I can; I want you to succeed. I am a relentless supporter of you. So when someone steals something that  I work hard to bring to you, it is really upsetting.

Chris Brogan went through the exact same thing recently. You can read about it at his blog if you’d like. I was upset for him when I heard what happened, but now I’m even more upset because it happened to me too.

So what do you think I should do? What would you do in my situation?

Photo Courtesy of Crosathorian

I have a friend who faithfully watches the hit tv show The Office and reports the shenanigans of the unruly, stupendously inappropriate, sexist, megalomaniacal boss Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell). In case you haven’t seen the office, here is a quick snapshot of the brilliance Michael Scott brings to his company.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1AuGtT5ByU

When I watched the office for the first time, I was shocked and in Human Resources horror. When I realized how widely popular this show is, I had to question why. Why would a show that features a crazy boss who says stupid things to his employees be so celebrated? I thought about it and realized that most of the bizarre, asinine, racist and neanderthal comments I’ve heard came from my bosses over the years. I’m guessing the reason The Office is such a hit is because most of us, at one time or another, had Michael Scott as a boss.

So let’s have some fun. I’ll start off with some of the crazy things my bosses have said and you can add yours.

Stupid Things My Bosses Said

Me: It’s my one year anniversary today!

My Boss: Great. (Sigh) Now that means you’re eligible for FMLA.

My Boss: We want your help filling some positions for us. But we don’t want you to give us any African Americans candidates.

Temp Company: Excuse me?

My Boss: The CEO doesn’t like Black people so don’t send us any of those. Brown people are fine though.

Temp Company: Um, brown people?

My Boss: Yes. You know, Mexicans.

Temp Company: …

My Boss: The best advice I can give you about office politics is to go to lots of business dinners and drink less than everyone else. You will learn all kinds of things you can use against them later.

My Boss: We should fire her.

Me: Why?

My Boss: She’s been in the hospital for four days. How can she get any work done when she’s in the hospital?

Now it’s your turn. What stupid things have your bosses said? (And yes, you can post anonymously)

How many times have you heard the word “authenticity” in the last seven days? If you are online or went to any of the social media/tech conferences last week, I bet you heard it a bunch. The messages “be yourself”and “be authentic” are the mantras, of social media evangelists. It is the 2.0 way of doing business. One of my social media heroes, Chris Brogan, spreads this message everywhere he goes. I’ve written posts about it too.

What I don’t hear a lot about is honesty.

People don’t like to talk about honesty.

Honesty implies moral and spiritual absolutes.

It’s easier to say “Be authentic” than “Be honest.”

You can be a fun-loving, crazy, creative person and put that out to the world. You may decide to make that your personal brand and make sure that everything you do authentically reflects that part of who you are. But that doesn’t mean that you are honest.

You can be authentic and not be honest.

You can be authentic and not be honest with yourself about:

• Your strengths
• Your fears
• Your present
• Your past
• Your need to change

Is it possible that “authentic” is what we are with others and “honest” is what we are with ourselves?

Does honesty even matter anymore?

Photo Courtesy of: √oхέƒx™